What Life is All About

Today was a good day, filled with work from 4 am and then a nice leisurely afternoon. It was funny how I stepped out of my usual hangout where I seek shelter from the oppressive heat and when I got back, upon sitting down, I spoke to the guy beside me and he grunted, "Asleep." Got rave reviews about my brownies and cookies but since I haven't baked for a while, I am not too happy about these two batches so I gave some away, some for home, and some for my two daughters who want to come home. I miss them but it's just so right what they are doing, flying out of my nest and being independent.

It's been a blast this past couple of weeks hanging out with my chill friends. Yet last week, I decided to change my schedule as there are a ton of things to do, well I invent what I have to do to fill my day with productivity. I have been going home early except for Friday night when it was announced that an old friend that I haven't seen in a couple of years was going to the coffee shop I go to that night. Bonding moments are what life is all about.

Over the years, what I do know is that I do keep secrets. A number of people have poured out their heart to me and maybe that's why they feel close to me. I do try to listen and yet sometimes, I do wish I was heard, too, yet the best things in life isn't instant coffee, it's a long steep and brew.

Shutting Down

It's amazing how insecure I can become. I do forget a lot of things and by stepping back for a while, shutting down, the emotions stop overwhelming and then it's logical thinking. Goodness, smiling for a while seemed like an impossibility but now I can because I realized that if it is meant to be, it is meant to be. Stop struggling and as I give up and leave it to fate and destiny and all the rest of that jazzy words that make me simply believe that it is true as the forces of the universe align with such outpouring of positive things happens when smiles are shared. Being silly, wanting more, doing things that I should not be doing, I have to laugh at myself and then maybe, place aside what I think about as there is nothing I can do.

Interesting Standpoint

As what I want is in checkmate so that means a new game might be played in the near or far future, it's not a matter of just moving forward like I was a car, it's just standing still. My decision stands and that doesn't change as in my lifetime, there are some things that I just know. And what is real and what is shallow with loneliness as the sole motivating factor doesn't work at all.

Today I heard two confessions from two men who talked about how their relationships have come to an end. My statement has been the same for a while - I can be your friend because I am "In Labo" with someone.

Every day a great day to feel alive. It's awesome to be alive RN.