Reformatting the Brain

What is past is past. We can't erase the memories. These make us what we are. Yet, there are always changes that must be made for us to be constantly improving and in a way, we can reformat our brains. Reformatting should erase all the things that we did in the past that we are not proud of, going forward to a new and improved life. Sad thing is that sometimes people still keep in their mind the way we were before, thinking that we are this way when we are not. It's okay though it may hurt, we just have to understand and know ourselves.

Like the way tea leaves settle at the bottom of a cup, what happens daily even if it is routine is never the same. It's better to keep our cards close to our chest instead of laying them on the table as we may not change the deal anymore or bluff but then what we do in life is not a game. Being dead serious in most things I do maybe means nothing to other people yet placing importance is vital so that it does make the difference, don't you agree?

Like in baking cookies and making other food stuff, I repeat and repeat until the recipe is perfect, and reject batches. Concentrating on baking the other day while I was getting a whole load of endless nonsensical talk with negative vibes, I place on my headphones to be able to finish as fast as possible. Concentrating on writing, I wake up early morning and wait for that one moment of inspiration that will make the difference to what I write, instead of settling for mediocre. Waving things away, the small things that people do for you, isn't for me, such as a card that was drawn by my kids for Mother's day or the my former maid preparing with pride the sweet potato harvest from the empty lot beside our house, giving it the credit that it deserves for it to be special.

Though I sometimes fail, well, maybe more often that I would like to accept and see how things slip away, painful regrets of what could have been and what could be, reformatting the brain is not an option really, it's healing and repair. Holding my battle-scarred heart within, I think of the love of my life and how it had worked until the realities of life stepped in. Incomparable? Yes, the passion is the kind written in books. Realizing that life does provide other chances for such matters such as romance, which is available nearly everywhere, to present myself the right way does ignite it but then that is not what I want as to sustain things, it has to be there on an ordinary day.

Being emotionally tired and in physical pain from my arm and my feet aching from walking, stocking up on nuts to gain back some of the weight that I lost, tears again in my eyes knowing that there is not much respect nor appreciation for taking things seriously, it might be best to say that what I do sometimes is not 100 percent focused with the end goal of perfecting the recipe - and that is a whole load of crap. Shallow, mundane, endless talk instead of endless walks, how things can stagnate and breed mosquitoes, it makes me cry. I look up sometimes to a brilliant blue sky and this moment, right now, before the dawn to see that there isn't a cloud in the sky, and I dream on, rejecting the batch that doesn't have the perfection and going for the next attempt if it is worth it, though sometimes, it isn't worth it.

Don't cry with me. Come to me with moments to live. 
We dance and enjoy life as the sun and moon does shine.