Jun 19, 2015

Random Reflections

Routine. There's something reassuring about my days and nights. No jolts, no surprises, just an ordinary day. I dislike noise pollution and my home is quiet waking up to the chirping of the birds, sleeping to the shrill of the crickets. I do live in the city but there is no sound of cars passing the street with no noisy and nosy neighbors.

Lately, my mind has been racing, tackling the writing of a book, the editing of two books, the new website for my client, and I shut out the noise pollution as my brain can't be drained by placing on headphones and listening to music. It's been too hot to do much during the day, so I leisure the time away in the afternoon, hanging out with a few friends to tackle the chores and work at night and during the early morning. The past week my arm has been in pain because of my carpal tunnel syndrome yet I don't have much of a choice except to write as that is what I do.

My day starts. I wake up and think positive before opening my eyes. Sometimes my phone might ring and I answer it but if it is a text, before I can answer, I would like to be fully awake after drinking my usual two glasses of cool water. Then I check my smart phone for Facebook messages then open the computer to check my mail for work, This is the laptop I use with inspirational book for a mouse pad. The reason why the book inspires me is because it shot up in Kindle sales.

If only. These two words are really lousy. As in, a goal that cannot be reached, a dream that has been smashed to smithereens. If only things were like this, if only things were like that - I hear these words constantly and the discontent bothers me. There isn't any if only that works for me. It's either there or not. It's either with me or not. It's the reality not the lack of something that keeps my feet on the ground. An "if only" life that is based on material things is empty and then it turns to envy. What goes on in my mind is how the negativity and the "if only" has shattered my peace and like a gangrened leg, it must be cut off. As I am tired of complaining, even in a post, I have taken the first step.

Food and rest. What is utterly necessary is the rule of thumb but then I am normal so I do indulge once in a while. To sleep is good and when I changed my sleeping time to 9 pm to wake up at 4 or 5 am, it felt good. Falling asleep late in the afternoon at past 5 or 6 pm to wake up to cook dinner is also what I do when I stay awake all night. Though I am a night owl, I have been trying to change my sleeping time yet like today as I am waiting for a project to be completed, I can't sleep until it is emailed in.

Oops. Fell asleep waiting for the project and go the email when I woke up. I had lied down, burying my head on the pillow, thinking how soft and comfortable it was, then shut down the computer as it was impossible to stay awake. Now a new day has started and it looks like a cooler afternoon. I think I should bake now, if I am feeling well enough and have the energy as I do have a lot of other things to do. Oops and duh. These two words describe what I do at times when I am lost in my thoughts and can't hear the world, whatever is said doesn't really register. Lack of listening skills? There are times that I don't listen as I just can't, it doesn't sink it, it makes no sense, the words I hear aren't to the point, and my mind gets cluttered with useless information that can't get processed. The duh things that I do, ah, are kind of dumb and lately, I did something rather duh, but then, I should be kinder to myself as we all do and no one was hurt in the process of duhness.

Blogging. Soon, I would have posted enough to make an ebook. Would it change the world? I doubt it but if I could just reach out and touch just one person, that would make the diff. Like the way I am on Facebook and all the social networking sites, sometimes nuts but more often, I am there to listen. I blog because I want to write and that's what I do - and as random as these reflections are, this is me, not saying all that I would like to and letting go of the stress that has no space in my life.













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