As much as all the trappings of society are totally like the banking system that makes money on your money and controls it and the safety it provides it tantamount to the greed it has to generate more, as we try to be a people pleaser, we encounter those who are displeased with what we say and even what we wear.
Do I have to act a certain way?
Life in Shorts, Jeans, and Tees
One Halloween I asked my client what his costume will be and he said he will go as an internet marketer. I saw the pictures of internet marketing gatherings and some wore shorts while the other events showed that the clothing was smart casual. I am an internet marketer so what I wear is our way to dress.
I have been digging through my cabinets to dress up as I have places to go yet now I miss my life in shorts. Not so very long ago, a nasty old woman that has a permanent frown told me off about my wearing shorts. I complied for a while but the other day, as I was wearing shorts, she made it a point to cut into the conversation I was having a number of times then I realized what the heck her problem was and it is that she wants the attention and I am competition on level ground and when I wear shorts or even a nice dress, I get attention. The thing is, I don't dress up for others though I dress to suit the occasion. That woman irritated me so much I wanted to snap but held my tongue as in reality, what I do is not the cause of her unhappiness, it is her trying to control everything around her because a sad thing happened to her that she cannot control nor accept which is that her child has a mental health problem. I don't pity her though as parenting required that the one with the problem has to be cared for the most and she might not have done that or the problem development was due to her disorder. My brother had delayed speech, had epilepsy, had low grades, and he got well and now is the strongest and the biggest among us and is successful with many people who look up to him. His achievements are because of us always believing in him and caring for him daily to the point that I would get yelled at for getting one of the 24 cups of gelatin reserved for him - and he did get well at the age of 11. If you see him now, you'll never believe that he was premature and was a blue baby, too.
We all have some sort of crisis in our life and my life in shorts and life being short isn't a hindrance, it's a challenge. Though I carry sadness that is overwhelming sometimes, I know that matters are beyond my control and acceptance is the best way to deal with it, no matter how difficult it is to accept.
Tears Fall
With all the ugliness in the world and the hurt that comes my way because I am me, I do try to change but it's tiring and sometimes not worth it for doing so for people who don't care for me as I fill an empty seat on the table is a waste of effort. The awful thing is that they do destroy things because of their talk filled with bitterness, hate, and complaints instead of doing something that will make the positive change they want. Tears fall today as it has lately and I am not ashamed to cry as this is me.
Control Check
I don't care if I am not understood, not wanted, and talked about because this is my life and I live it the way I want and am happy without the crap thrown my way which ruins my day so I keep away from those kinds of mean and ugly people that just complain about everything, creating issues, and go where I am wanted, respected, and cared for. Life is what you make it. Don't waste time with hurt only as the last martyr was Rizal.
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