Life Cannot Be Edited

In the desire to fix matters so that mistakes can be erased, the reality that life cannot be edited steps in, and the only way is to remove the hurt and pain inflicted is by forgiveness.

There is a point in time that I want to stop trying but until I see that all is okay, I do not. Then, the willing ear to listen starts shutting down upon the tales of lost people that stand on the ground of "I cannot." in such a manipulative manner that their weakness makes them think that life would be handed to them on a plate. Though these people are beautiful, I shudder to think why their relationships would end hold such a level of hate. Though I have ended relationships, the note was not on the material aspect, and even my last long one had said to my lawyer that he recognizes the help I had given him. As pleas and bargains are made, utter dependence of person who acts like they are helpless is something that loses sympathy fast, as pity turns to disgust. What I see is that the level of hate is so strong for an ex, that is will be a wipe out because the love turned to the material aspect. Give some respect for the other person and then respect for oneself, struggling is good for the soul as trying one's best to stand up, independent, is worth doing. Staying down and dependent is a lousy choice as people will step all over you, and happens as it is allowed to be done. As my daughter Maxi, had said when we were talking about the situation of this woman who allowed herself to be enslaved, "A man will only treat you that way because you allowed him to." and this applies to most relationships.

As one of the pilot mediators as trained by the Philippine Judicial Academy, the first thing that we do to reach a settlement to sort out the issues is to establish that the two parties will agree to try to agree. In a court case that can be settled such as that of domestic problems and monetary issues, there will be a series of talks. Once a party refuses to talk anymore and holds their ground, the case will be returned to court as there will be no agreement. Forgiveness and reconciliation comes about by airing out issues and though it typically starts with point-blaming, if the parties are both sincere in fixing the issue that affects their peace of mind, the cost of the court case, and affects their families and society as a whole, then things can be worked out. People who settle are happy as they might not have gotten exactly what they wanted but the hurt goes away as forgiveness comes in.

Life cannot be edited. We can't change the past and whatever happened then is part and parcel of us being us. For relationships to really mend, there must be trust and as I said before, as complex as human beings are, for many, Trust is a condom that can be bought from a drug store, and basically, the lack of trust comes from fears of what happened in the past experiences, not necessarily with the person but based on the way others had treated them, and what the person has done but since the trust is gone, we hold our sorry hearts to protect ourselves but from what? Being hurt again. 

Such is life. It can't be edited. But we can go on and embrace life and all that it has to offer as things can be enjoyed along with the down time that comes with it as that is the glory of living. As after all, when it comes to relationships, the ones that shakes your roots does caress the leaves in the sunlight, as there is no height without down, like the ebb time. so embrace it. Today, write the story well so there won't be any need to edit yet if editing is required, try again tomorrow, if there is a tomorrow as the opportunity may no longer be there, as we only have today, as right now, this moment, is our life.

Smile and go for it. The world is out there for you to make the most of it. Leave the edits for the mistakes and dance.