No Longer Listening

Observing the results, knowing that the consequences of the actions and lack of action has made a person become uncomfortable in my presence and it is like that person is guilty of something or maybe their emotions are overwhelming, though I firmly believe it is pride that makes the rift become much bigger that it should be. 

At this point in time, due to the pain that was inflicted and the unbelievable attitude that make me wonder why in heaven's name one can think they can control others by a look, and then I realized that after a while, when the wound has healed, no scar remains, as the pain is purely emotional, based on expectations that was actually based on the fact that there was trust on my part. 

Once the trust was shattered and the high notes of one who did not base the relationship on the need of the other, instead only fulfilling their own need to be needed, and since I got back on my feet, there was not acceptance instead the desire to be needed once more. Though I am grateful for that person being there, in retrospect, the underlying lie was the one that cracked the relationship. I have done my part as I did try to bridge the gap by being nice and still do try but without hardly any effort now, as the treatment should be one of acquaintance only - and what happened was that the person acts like in a card game, first it was pass, then game, then now that I have folded and am no longer interested in playing anymore, the tragic fact is that that I see that the regret is there - and it's not my regret, nor it is it my tragedy, nor is it my problem as I am no longer listening. Tuned out, no longer want to play games, talk to me straight. 

Short of pathetic, I hear him talking about a topic that only I would be interested in to other people as I am within hearing range. The volume got higher and the speech pattern was clearer, and being attuned to many things, I notice and inside I wonder why and know why I can hear but am no longer listening as aside from the underlying lie that broke my trust, another thing happened that confirmed that my confiding to a friend became information gathering and so I planted a lie and that was broadcasted so effectively that it did serve the purpose.

In reflection, relationships that are founded on an underlying lie or maybe a motive such as money, comfort, control, climbing the social ladder, are that for Nokias, who are people that are user-friendly. Though I don't mind being useful, a user-relationship does dissolve through time and that is good as it should not be the case.

Author's note: I had not published this one yesterday, as I thought I might have been sour graping but then after a good night's rest and reviewing it, I realize that I did not. And, though second and third chance should ideally always be given, if I feel empty when giving and it is a constant sacrifice, plus that the control factor of the relationship is constricting, then I am not longer "present".

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