Tolerating toxic Or is it simply insane

Pent up anger vents in the wrong place as when it is targeted, it rocks the boat. All in time.  Speaking up can wait.

When the most recent scene takes an instant relay in my mind, I just wanted to go for the jugular. What was that silly and hurtful comment? What that person squashing someone like I care for like a bug.  I see. Observe. And this is the last araw. So I reacted to save the situation. Drama for drama. Oh my Goodness. The point-blaming game. What solution was on the table. Attention getting person with mindless ways because of the constipated brain full of teleseries.

Shhh. Silly to drag me into such word games. I wrote the scripts.

I slipped on the way out. My nerves reacted and I screamed in pain. Darn left arm is wrecked and it's wretched to drop down on my knees in pain again. Yah right. Disabled. There's something but it isn't getting well unlike my right arm.  Must be another thing.time check. It's been years but this arm flared up recently. Must be something else as the pain won't go away..

Back to the pain inflictd by that insane woman. Geez how money is squandered away in things..and odd, recently no complaints. Perhaps.. But then again,  as difficult it is to.. . Read the workings of an insane mind.

Insane. It drives me crazy and then,  I think back to a point in time that I felt like my mind was slipping due to emotional overwhelm. Emotions. Fear. Hey Kahlil!  Your Gibran is gibrish as embracing the tree of love just Shakes-peare the roots. Yo for the depression peg that is more real, that longing...

Then,  perhaps I made my stand too clear.  Maybe I should kept quiet how it was affecting my mind. If I had kept quiet, I would have the continous emotions instead of a solution, that says peace of mind with a war yell and has no cheeeing Squad.

But I am drifting...randomizer on.

The fruit of the poisonous tree. I feel asleep a bit before midnight and woke up by aro und 2 am.  Though the woman drives here toxins to my very core, as she embodies all that I dislike - gossip, exag, teleseries, and downright not just a Crook bur worse..  Perhaps it is an act to cover up. It Surely is an act.
4
I am beginning to dislike spellcheck and predictive words on this mobile, and will clear the saved words..if possible.

To continue... She has made me wake up at this time of the night. The consequences are far reaching. So I studied what can be done. It is bleeding me dry. I would rather fall in love and have a broken heart on hold..wait,  I have that!

Oh the onslaught of misery liking company,  are lovers like that? It is a glorious thought that time apart subjects both to loneliness to reconcile. Nah. Hahahahaha. Yah. No. Here my heart goes arguing with my head. No. Maybe. Oh please stop miss calling and dropping the call from unknown numbers. Thats so high school..oh my!  It was high school Kinda.. Never mind. No investment is worth it when.. No Bittersweet moments. No anger. No sour graping.

It's Monday. So, it is planned. Got the blanks filled for one thing. Got the guards on reverse duty to hide me. Oh what is it about pain that makes me go into a shell? 

Of the duhs of the heart days that continue

2.14.20. Waking up to a text has disadvantages. With loads of line of communication, the sound of a text does wake me up and at an unholy hour of 5 in the morning. After only having two hours sleep,  I simply looked and did not reply.

Why?

I dont deserve to be questioned as if there was right. I should provide an explanation if I wanted to but since it is.. I just don't want to. My mind was tired from working and I was just powering up to work again.

It is sad. I have been in that situation before and do want replies. But then, the same had been done to me and it won't and should not bother me. It is difficult to keep focus when... I just simply didn't want to.

When a person doesn't want to, there are a litany of reasons. Like water off a duck's back, we should just let things be. However...Perhaps it is because there is a lack of trust.

It must have been accumulated. By various experiences, different situations, different people. Then one incident that makes a a straw break the camel's back.

When I threw in the towel of pleasing someone for harmony,  not so long ago, it didn't make sense anymore.  Why should I dance. Why should I change. It might be disliked but it is me and what I do it is not a crime, not even a sin.

It's 3 in the morning and I just got another text. Perhaps open lines are good. Perhaps too much inter+fearing.

2.22.20 Back to the lack of trust peg. It is very difficult to rely on humans. Surely, a dog has the characteristics desired in people, but it is still a canine. You'll see when there is a litany of the virtues of a dog, that they don't drop you, even if you fail them. In the co-dependency, it is a working relationship with canines and humans, especially if the person does what they should.

The dawn breaks and my heart aches, waking up from slumber with tears isn't a good thing. So, I had to get rid of the musings that happen in my mind, uprooting index cards filed through time, and then the thoughts return to the times that relying on others to be there became a fail.

There have been experiences, tell me who hasn't had that kind of time? You'd think that there was a strong shoulder to lean on, then making adjustments in your life to make them part of it. I reflect on, perhaps, the trauma of the recent and not so recent, being plunged into situations that I had difficulty getting out of. When everything is fine.

We hear pleasant things that aid us in weaving a story in our mind, filling up the blanks with what our heart desires. Happiness is a peg that coordinates a full heart that gets the needs fulfilled, yet the mind balks with the realities, and sometimes, these two meet. Going back just one step, it was trash. To analyze and think of what happened is no longer to that tearful pity me, and wishing that it could be, but turns into churning and blood-curdling slow anger that is under control. With evasive moves, it is difficult to go back as there will be again, the judgemental peg, the anger of lack of control, but then, what was the investment, truly?

Yah got trust issues. Rightfully so, when indeed the half-empty glass is seen in a realistic point of view. How much of me.. then it is what makes happiness fall in place. We trust, we hope, that sincere words can become action, after seeing the situation, and I arise and realize that there is no strong shoulder, and it is mine that is leaned on. How much of me to take before it will be returned? Never mind as it is... perhaps it won't happen.

The house has come to a point in time that it is truly old. Minor repairs, the piles of stuff that don't belong to me, and a renovation would be in order. Then, the care that I have to give to myself, as I am pounding away online to get buy, then having my priorities. You'd think it would be fine if... yet, as the dream began to weave, it is inevitable that there will be failing, for, in fact, to wait for... what is the priority?

People invest in relationships in a multitude of ways. The most important investment is time. Though it cannot be expected to convert into money, or to food or other basic needs, it is the time to be together which counts. In achieving one part of a desire to sit down at sunset and watch the view, for companionship, then that disappears, looking back, it was the investment of time, then the priorities change due to the struggle, and perhaps, the aching mind. It is sad, but we move on to repair the pain and address it with practicality.

Emoticon moments when the dawn breaks bring about a tiredness as these hours are to be filled with the trying to no longer wait for more than words. Wanting to no longer wait, in looking back, how the world tumbled, and then, it was at that point in time, when placed into a situation that was invested in, the fail was not that of the change in the relationship, but a change in what was the priority.

In a more positive mindset, to remove the cobwebs of those index cards that are filed in my mind, those snippets remember the goodness and those times of happiness. Always to forgive humans for not being canines, and investing what can be given, which is time. As the reality hits, it is time to work, as there will be that need to spend on what is required.

So, investing time does not convert into... my friends are missing me, but let me backtrack on my line of thoughts as I got distracted. One dog jumped on my bed, the other has taken over the sofa, and my little grandchild has peered at me, and gave me a cut-out heart. She heard me drop the ice tray and the blocks crashed on the floor, as my hand does make things slip, and said ice, I am sorry.

My mind slips back to... it is saddening to leave someone that time was invested in. In closing doors, always leaving it unlocked and having a way to knock, it is emphatic to think of the pain of the other person. But, didn't I write this before? We think that they do, as words are said... and we see it and wish it, but then...

It is a chilly day, and it is pleasant. Tears that don't drop are from the musings in the head that convert into heartaches, surpassed by my arm ache. You'd think that leaving is easy, after being chased often to return. You'd think that it is easy to move on, and yes, it is.

We plant our time to invest in those who are worth it. Trust issues aside, people fail us for various reasons. It might upset our lives and turn it upside down when they are no longer there. Yet, as it is but human failure as against human error, we must trust again.

Now to work, fix things, and take care of myself, as I cannot fail those who trust me to be there, and those who I cannot leave.

Note: I decide to write another book this morning. Then, it is time that I publish the two books that I have on file. Next week.

Of depression and other things that matter

We glide through our days in hopefully mindful ways. However, there are setbacks that happen due to the various personalities that we encounter. It cannot be smooth sailing all the time. Inasmuch as we wish for all things to be in harmony, there are those that will create conflict inside us and make our emotions go on a rollercoaster ride. Such is being human, and then there is serving on a plate the trust issue.

It would be nice to think that it is possible to not be bitter but better. It is nice to decide in accordance with what is 'politically' correct. It is nice to plan things and look forward to the future. Yet, as we chase engagement levels for our banner ads to be clicked, then we go back into thinking that... it is to enjoy life?

For today has ended in a manner again that astounds me. I recall those times of light-years away and have a kind of hush in mind. Thre are comparative factors and when weighing it, there is one that wins hands down when it comes to effort. Then, there are the ones that are good, available, and better, then those outcast and blocked. Then, in a momentary recall, thus to pluck the heartstrings.

People come to you for moments to live. It should be filled with joyous laughter. It should be light and breezy. But the reality strikes in and it can become shallow. Long talks are depressing. It is horrible to have that but it happens, as long talks sooner or later lead to being talked to, when I wonder, why should it matter? Why should I answer?

In articles about what to do, it says that one should stand their ground. It is so boring to do so and it becomes tiring. Placing the best foot forward then thinking, I need to dye my hair, and why do I have blackheads?

To approach the cup as half-full and fill it with joy, when... for a long period of time, struck by pity, and then the failure, and wondering where it went wrong, for the trauma to remain. It was not the person, not that person, but the experience with another that created the fear.

Looking back, indeed, one is above comparison. Yet the steps back to a known path and steps to a new one is a difficult decision. In this hybrid of a life, keeping in mind that the fail and the sadness still bring out an occasional wail, it is unfair. It is unfair to package the experience and place it on someone else.

You'd think that the insights of Kahlil Gibran should be enough. You'd think that words should suffice. You'd think that trust from the effort placed in should be there. But, in the anxiety, it doesn't work out that way, even if things matter.

To call it a day, I pack and fold the cards on what I would like to do, and instead, place a pillow over my head. It can cushion a virtual blow and make me hide in my shell, in my comfort zone, where there is no conflict, and won't be any emotional upheavals as I know that my heart can't take it.

What to do? I have enough pain from my arm. I need care and to take care of it. There are again the limits, as my heart is broken.

EVPro Training Workshops: How to solve the need for productivity and income by gaining skills

To be as multi-faceted as a diamond and shine, one has to undergo learning skill sets that transform us from being lumps of coal. Our days can be filled with learning and doing what we wish to do, however, we might be grounded by the things that we have to do in the roles that we have in our lives, such as that of being a son or daughter, a parent, and the other roles that we have for society. Our tasks might include that of working with a job that takes up most of the hours of our day and chores that need to be done. In the desire to grow, as we are no longer in the educational stage, we try to learn and pursue our passions by watching videos and learning online. Those methods are simply not enough to gain expert skills.

Gaining skills 

As we go to the malls and go online to see success stories based on skills, we might realize that there is a need for training. Certifiable skills are a must-have in today's world but more than having a paper to prove that the skill set is there, it is the hands-on and the details such as those trade secrets that will provide expertise. When the basic skills are learned, it is the mastery of these that bring about becoming an expert. When the skills are applied and used to earn, one becomes more productive. With a new skill, something clicks in place, making the diamond in us shine brighter. 

Knowledge is something that no one can take away. It brings about a feeling of fulfillment. If the skills training has the productivity factor for earning, as we go around the malls and see stores that boom online, we can do certain businesses, and learn to hone our skills from expert training.

About EVPro

EVPro is a multidisciplinary event group that specializes in below-the-line marketing and strategic activations. This company specializes in conducting workshops and unique tour packages, among other things. The tour that I attended was the Big Manila Food Tour that is a historical food tour that was a gastronomic feast that brought us to go to several establishments in the Manila area.

EVPro workshops 

The workshops that EVPro has conducted include that of rubber print art, monotype printing, leathercraft, pottery, basic skincare and makeup, jewelry-making, and mushroom cultivation. There will be more workshops of different topics in the near future, such as that of online skills like about how to blog, social media marketing, and other online and offline revenue-making opportunities. 

All of these workshops by EVPro provide the skillset for starting a business or pursuing learning to have expertise in a hobby. Aside from the training on the how-to, there is also the suppliers' list that will be given, marketing tips, and solid after-training support.

Bubble Tea Making

I have attended EVPro events a number of times, to include that of promoting Barista Depot. The workshop that I went to was the Bubble Tea Making. The trendy beverages that I learned how-to are for the discerning palate that does not compromise on quality. There are bubble tea shops nearly everywhere but if you note the successful ones, no matter how costly the beverage is, people line up. That is because the formulation is that which provides the depth of flavor, the intricacies of texture, and the unbeatable quenching factor, plus that of satisfaction because of fullness.  

Various bubble tea beverages

Training room

Butterfly tea (mocktail and cocktail)

The training started off leisurely if that can be said as there was an unlimited breakfast buffet at Aloha Hotel included in the package. The cost of that buffet alone and the helping of food and drinks make the workshop stand out from many others that serve styrofoam meal packs if there is food served at all. The training started on time and ended on time, as with all EVPro events, and extends upon request of the learners for interaction and preparing our take home milk teas. 

The milk training handouts are complete, to include background information, recipes, and costing. There were demos then hands-on, and the time was well-spent in learning the skill set. The group was select and there were no interruptions that will distract the attention from the tasks on hand. After the training, we all got certifications. 

Skill sets click in place, making us be more fulfilled. The training workshops of EVPro provides us with opportunities to learn skills and take what we learn to make it into a booming business. 

For more information about the training workshops of EVPro and their other events, please visit the EVPro Facebook page. 

https://web.facebook.com/EVProPh/

Overcoming disability to have a normal life

Being a blogger has pampered me with lovely times and has tapped my advocacies. However, as the warm welcomes happen when I go to events, since youth I have hid my disabilities as I realized that I just want to be treated like everyone else. I try to remain low key for tech events but for other events, I do have to dress up a bit. 

Where is this line of thought going? 

It is difficult for me to accept pity. I know that I should ask for what I need but sometimes just choose to keep quiet. I did cry the other night when a situation of my life was assessed to be difficult. Yet beyond that, as a blogger, I need to share what my difficulties are and how to overcome these so that I might touch the life of even one reader who needs hope. 

I am disabled. Born with one leg shorter, it was correctional shoes with weights. I couldnt join the sports activities at school. I could walk and run. When the shoes went off,  I had to do tortueous ballet to further correct it. Oh I was also Pigeon-toed. Upon HS graduation, I was a CMT (Cadet Military Training)  intelligence officer. 

My left ear has been partially deaf since I was six. 

I was near sighted 350-300 and now my grade is 150 and I can function without eyeglasses.

I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I write online for a living. I scream in pain once in a while when I push my arm as I do things,  so I choose my activities.

Overcoming means not showing it. As nice as it is for people to care, it isn't easy to accept pity. And, what is said can make me expect for help, but if I ask and get turned down, it hurts as I won't ask if I didn't need to,  so I won't ask again. It also could be because I lack that kind of communication yet...

Overcoming any disability is to work within the limits. Like dealing with people, it is easy to note what their limits are and work with it. By keeping expectations low for some relationships and having good give and take ones, it gives me ease. 

Love comes in many forms yet the best ones are perhaps those that are unspoken. There are those who are there and reliable, while there are those who will fail. Yet,  it is best not to be bitter or angry,  and just to accept even if we cannot understand. Just like having a disability, 0I accept and move with it,  working and living my life within the limits. 

Within the limits, I hear most of what is said and I train my listening with TV news by not looking. I ask for words to be repeated, among other things. 

I walk daily. I can sprint. I can walk 8 city blocks and do so regularly. I wear light shoes and at times, rubber shoes. 

I cook, bake,  and so other chorus but no longer can do anything for an hour straight. I need to test my arm and also do so by taking breaks and hanging out with my friends for an afternoon of laughter. 

There might be those who have mental health concerns. Dealing with it on a daily basis doesn't work. It has to be kicked, with not liking that mind problem. To think of a cure doesnt work. One has to be active, have a good social life,  be productive. Owning a dog helps. Mental health can also be Excuses Excuses, so it is best to keep quiet. No talk, no mistake. 

We value what matters to us. We need to give time, effort, resources, and upliftment. Our lives can be better with a decision.  

I dont like my disabilities. I get in pain sometimes. So, I overcome by allowing it to hamper me but then, I wonder why... 

Amidst the thousands of words I read and hear daily, and the millions in my lifetime, what makes me overcome.. Love comes in many forms and it is a decision. To look back at the words of love I have heard, what doesn't make the mark is just words. 

It is action that makes me overcome. At times it is for myself. At times it is for others. What makes me move to built my fortress of a home and makes my life go on, are the actions.

Love Under the Stars of SM by the BAY

It’s a date! Celebrate Valentine’s Day under the stars as we take you to the 3rd year of Love Under the Stars of SM by the BAY! ✨ 

 Chill, dine and be serenaded by SUD and listen to a collection of monologues about love, heartbreak, and bitterness by Ampalaya Monologues! Celebrate Valentine’s Day with us! Lots of kakilig activities, spoken poetry, live band performance, photobooth, etc.

See you on February 14, at the Central Park! 

Listen to a collection of monologues about love, heartbreak and bitterness by Ampalaya Monologues: Mark Ghosn, Abe Herma, Jaypee Ortiz, Justinne Punsalang andRaymart Avellaneda!

See you on February 14, 5:30PM at the Central Park! 

#LoveUndertheStars2020

For more information, visit 

The Love Under the Stars of SM be the BAY

 https://web.facebook.com/events/175479770459425/

and

Aldenver Events
https://web.facebook.com/aldenvereventsmktg/

The International Farmers Summit Philippines 2020

Pasay, Philippines - On Feb, 12 at 10 AM to Feb 14 at 6 PM at the SMX Convention Center, Mall of Asia Complex, Seashell Lane, Pasay City, Philippines, The International Farmers Summit Philippines 2020 will be opening their doors wide to welcome animal lovers and those in the industry. This much-awaited and highly-informative is a must-attend for anyone that wants to learn, network, meet suppliers, and gain knowledge.

The International Farmers Summit aims gathers together farmers, breeders, feed millers, meat processors, suppliers for feed ingredients, animal health and nutrition products, farm and slaughter equipment and all allied industry partners. Organized by the Philippine Veterinary Drug Foundation Inc. (PVDAFI).

The International Farmers Summit has focused on animal health, genetics and nutrition and is supported by leading local and international companies. The show aims to contribute towards efficient animal production that would ensure a competitive advantage. This 3-day event is hosted by Mr. Danny Sanchez.

The Poultry Disease Outbreak Readiness Summit with CPD points for PRC-registered veterinarians and agriculture practitioners will be on February 14, 2020. This is the industry technical summit on our third day after the plenary and the swine school. Please be guided of the ff technical programs: Feb. 12 - Plenary Summit Forum with Department of Agriculture Secretary William Dar and key industry leaders as members of the panel Feb. 13 - ASF Recovery and Repopulation Summit Feb. 14 - Poultry Disease Outbreak Readiness Summit 

We can make out the poultry industry ready and prepared for any threats of an impending poultry disease outbreak. After the bird flu and the NCD scare; and as we learn from how we battled ASF in pigs - what industry controls and farm protection programs have we instituted to shield our farmers and our market from breaking down? Let us learn from our industry resources and technical experts and converge to learn together as one industry by attending The International Farmers Summit Philippines 2020 

Mapping our future: What are the current realities of the #ASFvirus outbreak management and how do we prepare to cope up and recover? Let us hear these realities from ASF global and local experts at the #ASFRecovery and #RepopulationSummit. 

The International Practitioners School on Swine Production and Medicine on Thursday, February 13 at the SMX Convention Center. #InternationalFarmersSummit2020 February 12-14, 2020 SMX Convention Center MOA The first Philippine ASF forum to discuss on-farm recovery and repopulation! 

 ☑️With applied learnings from global experts and field experiences in China and Europe recovery programs! 

 ☑️Applications will be integrated into our Philippine ASF experience by our ASF Crisis Management Team-member veterinarians!

 ☑️With PRC-CPD points for licensed veterinarians and agriculturists! This will be held on Feb 13 at the SMX Convention Center, Mall of Asia Complex, Pasay City 

IFS opens its registration for the International Practitioners School on Swine and Poultry Production and Medicine which will be held on Feb 13 and 14, 2020 at SMX Convention Center, Mall of Asia, Pasay City This two (2) day CPD activity consists of two separate programs namely:

1.) ASF Recovery and Repopulation Summit; and
2.) Poultry Disease Outbreak Readiness Summit.

Participants of these 2 summits are expected to upgrade their practice related to the livestock industry and to earn 6 CPD units per program under PRC Accreditation 2019-027-276 and 2019-027-277 respectively. Hence, the two (2) summits are equivalent to twelve (12) CPD Units.

Registration Fees: Php 1,200 - ASF Recovery and Repopulation Summit Php 1,200 - Poultry Disease Outbreak Readiness Summit Registration Tutorial Link: http://bit.ly/2Sr8pgI Registration Link: https://icpdgateway.ph/catCourse/51 

How to register? 1. Go to https://icpdgateway.ph/ 2. Create an account as a professional 3. Verify your email address 4. Sign-in and click the banner photo of the summit you want to attend 5. Click payment method 6. Pay the amount. For PAYMENT INQUIRIES, please email support@icpdgateway.ph or call 0927 573 7039 

To attend The Internation Farmers Summit Philippines 2020 is free. 

For more information, please visit the Facebook event page. 

 https://web.facebook.com/InternationalFarmersSummit/

Credits: All images and information was obtained from the Facebook event page of 

The International Farmers Summit 2020