To Wait in Faith

Fading away the beauty has a tint of sadness. What matters does remain unsaid. Woven in the tapestry is an offering, slow to grow, rooted with time and caring.

Weaving the tapestry of life, letting happiness decide. What would life be if... Gone are those thoughts. There is today. Maybe, that lazy Sunday post of mine brings more of me into my life.

To be free. It is issuing independence to all concerned. Trying not to be a burden - and the wings makes flying easy -humbled by how He gives the blessings. It clicks into place, an unspoken prayer for a win, and the new headphones was won, among hundreds of people. So many little and big things, all my desires come true. And, in going for what I want, appreciating what is there, knowing that today, whatever matters most is a treasure that belongs to me... A heart beat skips, was that how I was ill?

A heart click. My heart when I was young had a distortion in the rhythm. My left leg was shorter that the other. My eyeglasses grade was 350 ans 375, and now it is 150. Living with carpal tunnel syndrome, the collapsed hollow of the bone, dropping a pitcher of water, feeling the pain like a large nail searing into the upper arm, it might be time for a cast, or that thing to immobilize my arm.

Pain is a real thing. We cannot argue with pain, and cannot express the level that others, who are in pain, and wave away that fact. Knowing that my wrist bone hollow has no cure, and to push my arm means surgery, the activities are limited, until I do place support on my wrist.

Taking a few drags from a vape, the nicotine is high in that flavor. Sub the cigs, stub out the cigs half-way.

03.25

Seriously, a half baked slice of life.

Depression hits on recall, what happened in the past, the dismay, the web of lies, what was done, what that awful perverted warped mind created to cover up for the evil that was done by making up stories about another - a drawing, a drawing. Recalled was the smashing of a stand fan with the cry of clearing the name, how a tree was chopped by me in anger and in pain, how my father would groan about what was done to us - all in the past - cannot be undone, as we move on, forward, unbroken in spirit. How odd how that person cried instead of rejoicing, the lies lie heavy on their hearts, as they cannot show their faces in shame, not fear, yet still how to stop the mind from recalling?

This day marks a moment, freedom song. As a star sparkles in the sky, all is wonderful in my world, as perfect as can be, evolving to be more wonderful daily - and yet I cry for the time, and time is that only of today, and patiently waiting for another miracle to happen tomorrow.

God knows and sees it all. He knows what the heart cries out for and gives it. He knows when we are ready to gain the blessing and answers even our unspoken prayers. He moves in ways we cannot understand and sometimes, when we least expect it.

As I sat down today, after having to deal with the resentment of a bipolar, in my heart and mind, there was an agreement.  As I lied down tonight, I see how many blessings pour out, and in calm and peace, wait.

In silence, prayer like a warm blanket, asking Him to show His might, and seeking justice, pleading for the hurt to be undone, mar not today, this pain inside riddled with un forgiveness and hatred, fear and loathing. Praying for protection. It is but a small thing to ask. God, who hears the cry of a widow and her children, will never forsake me. Like that day I sat still and waited for the miracle, choosing to take care of my children, and now, again, placing what He has given me that is so perfect - to wait.

To wait in faith.

After midnight, 03.29.17