At times, some people expect too much from me. Perhaps I should wear a wrist brace so it would be recalled that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. Maybe I should get a person with disability card that says hearing impaired and ortho problem. Maybe I should broadcast all my woes and make an unli list of what is wrong with me. Then, after the toxic, I think...
Though it is unfair to compare how we are treated and the time that we get, as people have their priorities and limitations, I think of those who don't have excuses. They know who they are. However, certain instances make me feel trapped, making me want to say.. what more do you want or I like dancing on eggshells or ah internal conflict or I am a life hack. It is good to deal with people that you feel relaxed.
Perhaps, I will always wear my wrist brace and get my PWD card and put a sign on my hat that I haven't overcome all the challenges that have come my way like everyone else who also has failures. I can berate and say that I am holding on to what was assigned to me, but it doesn't matter when some people do not value what I am fighting for. what I tried doing, what I did, and so on and so on.
So yes, I am just at that point. It's neither here nor there, not this or that, and I won't complain as nothing will be achieved anyway.
Now that's vented. Closure. Inability to edit the past. Analysis. Then that realization that bitterness has no space in my life, and I won't dwell, but we all hurt and hopefully, heal, and learn how not to expect and not settle for low expectation relationships, and appreciate what it was for what it was, and know that failed expectations can go both ways and there are things that aren't possible to just ignore.
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